“Here.” Micah tosses a pair of green gloves to me while we walk down the hall among the other students headed to the lunchroom.
I catch them. They look like the same pair we saw at the Halloween store we went to this past weekend. “…You didn’t.”
“I did.” Micah smiles. She stole them.
At the time, I was eyeing the gloves while picking up things for my halloween costume this year. I planned on being the Once-ler, and bought everything but the gloves and a wig. I only had enough money put aside that day to buy one, so I went with the wig. Between the green top hat and pinstripe tail-coat, I figured it’d be obvious who I was.
Micah offered to swipe it then, but I refused. Looks like she did it anyway.
“I can’t take this.” I hold it out to her.
She puts her hands up. “Hey- if you give them back to me, they’re getting trashed. It’s not like I need them for anything. So just keep them, Frankie.”
I sigh. I can’t think of a way to argue, so I don’t. “Fine. Just please don’t do that again. If I want to get something, I’ll buy it myself.”
“Right, right.”
I feel like I should say something else- but I’m afraid it will come off as scolding. Since… It’s not like I’m her parent or anything, so who am I to tell her what she should be doing? I let it drop, and we talk about something else.
When I get home later, I pull the gloves out of my bag. Then I shove them deep in my closet. I feel guilty for having them, and I’m upset with Micah for putting me in that situation. This wouldn’t be the first time she or my other friends did that. But, I mean- it’s not like my friends are bad people. They show up to school everyday and do their work. They’re nice to their parents. There’s just certain things they do… I’m not the biggest fan of. But that’s life, right?
Halloween is next week, and me and my friends have been discussing plans. We’re going trick-or-treating up the big hill. The Big Hill has the big houses, and that meant big rewards. We would meet at the bottom of the hill at eight.
Halloween night comes around, I suit up in my Once-ler costume, sling my prop guitar over my back, hop in my car, and drive to Big Hill. My other friends show up a little later than I do, so I spend time in my car, waiting. I start scrolling for a few minutes.
I glance up out of my windshield, just to check if my friends are here. Instead of my friends, I see Ghostface standing in front of my car. I yelp, then I remember that that’s what Micah decided to dress up as this year. My other friends walk into view, laughing.
I sigh as I get out of my car. “Alright, alright. You got me.” It wasn’t even that funny. Not really. Well, maybe a little. I smile. “When did you guys get here?”
“Just now,” Micah says. “We saw you parked there and hoped we could scare you.”
Cameron and Aaliyah have stopped giggling. I take a moment to look at their costumes. Cameron’s face and hair are painted green. His red and white costume is clearly one that was sold for cheap and made for even cheaper. But it looks like Cameron modified it to the point it could actually be used as a movie costume.
Aaliyah dressed up as an angel, in white robes. She painted on two sets of eyes on her face, and has crafted a gorgeous pair of wings that go from her shoulders to her knees.
It’s things like this that remind me how talented my friends are. “Your costumes are awesome.”
“Thanks!” They say in unison. (Even Micah…)
Once I join the group, we all start walking up the bottom of Big Hill. We all chat as we go. The night is cold, but not too cold. The sky is cloudy, but it doesn’t seem like it’s going to rain. Some other groups of people can be heard up ahead getting their treats (hopefully) from the first few houses. Seems like it’ll be a great time.
Then I smell something sweet, like marshmallows. I look over, and see Aaliyah blow out a white cloud. Then I see that she’s vaping. She takes another puff, then passes the vape to Cameron, who takes a puff. Cameron passes it to Micah, she takes off her mask, who does the same as the other two, and holds it out to me.
They always do that, even though I said no so many times before. “No thanks.”
Micah hands it back to Aaliyah. “Figured you might have changed your mind. But it’s not like we’re gonna force you or anything.”
“Right…” A temporary silence settles. It makes me feel awkward. Somehow, whenever I get into this situation, no matter how I try to handle it, I always feel awkward. Standing by until they’re finished? Awkward. Leaving? Awkward. Asking if… maybe they could do that while I’m not around? Awkward. It’s not like I’m judging them or anything… they’re my friends, after all. I just know I’d rather not get involved with nicotine. But… I don’t know… Maybe if I just do it once, and never again, they’ll leave me alone about it.
The first house hands us each a full bag of Haribo gummy bears. The next, a full kit-kat bar. Every house gives us something good, so, other than the few weird looks we get, for being 16-year-olds that are trick-or-treating, things are going great.
After a bit over an hour, we cleared every house on both sides. We’re back at the bottom of the hill.
“What should we do now?” Asks Cameron. “Go to another neighborhood?”
Aaliyah holds up her pillowcase full of candy. “I think we have enough.”
“So… what do we do?” Micah asks.
“Why don’t… we hit up a cemetery? That’s perfect for Halloween.” Aaliyah suggests.
A shiver runs down my spine. “A cemetery?” I always believed people laid to rest should be given rest, not be bothered by a bunch of teenagers trying to entertain themselves.
“Yeah!” Micah agrees.
No one gives any opposition, including myself. I just can’t bring myself to do it when they’re so set on it. So we went to the nearest cemetery. The parking lot is empty when we arrive, which feels ominous. The front gate is also closed. Once we all stand before the gate, Micah, Cameron, and Aaliyah don’t seem to care about the fact the cemetery is closed, which, considering how late it is, makes sense.
The gate, and fence around the cemetery are about chest height. So, it’s definitely possible to jump over. But…. That’d be trespassing. I frown.
“Okay, I might need a leg up, but I think I can get over that.” Micah points to the gate.
“I’ll help you, then.” Cameron offers.
“You guys…”
They all turn to look at me. A small part of me finds it funny because of the costumes.
“This is trespassing….”
“…It’s not like anyone’s here to catch us,” says Aaliyah.
“Still… I would feel better if we found something else to do.”
They stare at me. A few beats of silence pass.
“I’m serious…”
Micah takes off her mask. “Well, no one’s forcing you to come with us. If you don’t want to climb the fence, don’t.”
Then they all start scaling the fence. Cameron helps Micah get over then goes over himself. Then Aaliyah jumps over.
The whole thing stings like I’ve been slapped in the face. I stand there, kind of unsure of what to do. A small part of me wants to go with them. But another part is so hurt they just left me behind like that.
I end up going home, upset over the fact that a night that was going well was completely ruined. I woke up the next day, figuring a good night’s rest helped me get over it. I get dressed and eat a bowl of cereal, while scrolling through some of my friends insta stories. I see that my friends were joined by another group of people (strangers) I think, and had a grand ole’ time in the cemetery. Ugh.
So, by the time I start brushing my teeth, it’s aggressive enough to make my gums bleed. It became so painfully obvious that if I don’t do what they want, ultimately sometimes they’ll decide to leave me behind. Like my opinions or wants don’t matter. Even though I just want do the right thing. I avoid them at school for the day.
After returning home, I receive a message from Micah. Are you okay?
It’s a little frustrating, because obviously I would be upset over last night. I don’t respond. Instead, I consider what to do. Sometimes, my friends do things I don’t necessarily agree with. I’m okay with that, but sometimes they also try to get me to partake as well. Despite the fact that I make it very clear I would prefer not to. They push my boundaries, and when I don’t give in, they just exclude me.
I hate this. But…what do I do? What can I do? This situation seems impossible. I’ve already tried so many solutions, but it doesn’t seem like any of them are getting to the root of the problem. I’m down to my last resort. Telling them how this whole situation makes me feel. For once, I am going to make my feelings a big deal. In the past I assumed they already knew I was always getting put in uncomfortable situations. But… maybe they don’t, and that’s why they keep acting like they do. So, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.
That means this time, I have to make sure I explain enough so that they understand. So, I type out a long message:
Hey guys. Sorry for avoiding you today. I was just very upset over what happened last night. It really hurt when you all left me behind that way. It felt like you didn’t care about my feelings at all, and would rather just leave me behind than to include me. And this isn’t the first time I felt like my feelings didn’t matter. I end up in difficult situations, because I don’t always want to do the same things you do. Like shoplifting, or vaping. I either have to leave the group, or stand there awkwardly, or go along with whatever it is you guys are doing. You all say I have a choice, but it never actually seems like it’s okay that I say no or don’t want to join in. I really love being friends with you guys, and I promise I don’t judge you for the things you do, I just wanted to tell you guys how it’s been for me lately. I hope we can work this out…
I read over the message once, then press send.
WRITTEN BY: Kris Sanders, Empowerteen Creative Writer Intern
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