Earlier today, my math class was told that at the end of the month, everyone would be taking a final test of everything we learned over the semester. When I heard this, I sighed. The last thing I wanted to do was start preparing for some big test, answering hundreds of questions for hours. As my advisory teacher talked about it a bit more, I started doodling on a piece of paper, thinking about how it’d probably go. I spent getting extra help for my tests: going over problems with my math teacher instead of hanging out at lunch, staying after school, and watching YouTube videos of the material. The only reason I was doing decent in the class is that I turned in all my homework. I sighed again.
Now I sit here looking at the pre-test packet and finding the corresponding notes for everything I can. I started working on the first problem. I get about a step in and get stuck. I pull out an old test to see if I answered a similar question correctly in the past. I didn’t. Ugh. Well, I have the month, so I can come back to this later.
The days pass, then weeks, and I’m not particularly worried. Now it’s a Tuesday night. I decide to crack open the test packet again. I flip past the first page, then the second. The problems look like some sort of foreign language, and I’m not in the mood to translate. The packet gets set aside again. I mean, what’s the harm in starting them tomorrow and giving myself a break?
The next day rolls around. I open a test question, and I open my notes. My sketchbook for art class sits at the other end of my desk. That reminds me, I have a still-life sketch due at the end of the week. That due date’s sooner so… I should work on that instead.
It’s Thursday. I’m gonna hang out with Frankie after school.
Now it’s Friday. Mom and Dad are saying something about a family dinner with an aunt who’s in town.
I’ve made it to the weekend, it’s Saturday evening. Next week is the test. Okay. I should really get started now. I open a tab on my computer, then my phone buzzes. Frankie sent me a reel. Well, I can watch it really quick and then….
I wake up the next morning, my phone beside me. I spent all night scrolling, whoops. Well. I’ll use today to study. I sit at my desk, start working on the first couple of problems. I eat once I get hungry. I take a break. The break lasts the rest of the day.
The next few days are a cycle of putting off studying until three days before the test, when I decide it’s actually time to lock in. Once I see the amount of review I still have to do, I realize I have waited wayyy too long to be able to study everything, understand it, and keep my sanity. But I do what I can.
The day of the test, I sit before the 4-page test equipped with all the knowledge that stayed in my head for the past 72-ish hours. Little equations only end up half-baked because I’m not really sure about all the steps. I get answers that don’t make sense. With some questions, I’m not even sure where to begin. I start to skip questions I’m not sure about to come back later, and once I get through eight questions without answering a thing, I sigh. I really messed this up.
Once it’s all over, I’m happy to never have to look at it again. I met up with Frankie after school. We sit in a fast-food restaurant, eating celebratory fries and ice cream.
“How do you think your test went?” They ask.
“I mean… so-so…” I’m hesitant to admit I probably bombed.
“Oh, yeah? I think so too. I’m really just happy it’s over….” Frankie looks over and catches my expression. “….What’s wrong?”
“I… didn’t really study… and so…. You know, I think I did realllyyy bad.”
“Well… that happens. Test scores aren’t the end of the world, you know.”
I bite my lip, and suck in a breath.
“Oh- sorry. I meant it…” Frankie searches for the right words. “It doesn’t determine your worth as a person. But… well…. If you don’t mind me asking… if you care so much, why didn’t you study….?”
I sigh. Thinking back…. Why didn’t I? At every turn, I avoided the task until it was nearly too late. At first, I figured I had a lot of time. Not a lot of pressure, and the amount of work I would have to do was.. A lot. Then it became a matter of not wanting to do it because it seemed like a lot of work, so I put it aside. By the time I really started feeling the pressure, it was too late. I explain this to Frankie.
“Ohhh. I get it. I’ve had similar issues in the past.”
“In the past?”
“Yeah. I figured out what worked for me.”
I look at them, waiting for them to continue. After a moment, they do.
“Oh. So… one thing I do is dedicate special spaces to the thing I’m trying to study. Some things I can start on without any issues, so I can study in my room or somewhere in the house. But sometimes I have to go out somewhere to study where there are no distractions. The library is a good spot.”
“Hmm….” That might work. But, before that. “How do you even get yourself to do it, even if you don’t really want to?”
“Sometimes the five-minute method works. Just… tell yourself to do it for five minutes, then five more minutes, and then usually it goes on for a whole lot longer once you get into the rhythm of things.” Frankie thinks. “But these are things that work for me. I’m not sure they’ll work for everyone….”
“Right….” I sigh. “I wish I had talked to you about a month ago.”
Frankie shrugged. “Maybe. But you know, there’s still another shot, if you want it.”
I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”
“You know you can retake the test, right?”
“…..” I blink at them. “How do you know that?”
“The teacher said it when she mentioned the test.” Frankie laughs. “You didn’t know? Yeah, you can do it more than once. If you really want another shot, go for it!”
“You’re right!” Suddenly, I’m inspired. Now I know there are ways to wrestle with my procrastination. And I have another shot.
I have another week before I retake the test. The first day after my failed attempt, I’m figuring out what works. I use treats as incentives (which doesn’t really work cause I usually just go, eh, whatever, I’ll just get the treat anyway). Then I try Frankie’s methods, which work up to a point….but, there has to be something better.
The next day, I try a last-ditch effort by joining a study group. This study group is a bunch of tutors (college students working towards teaching degrees, I think) and other high school students. Generally, one high school student is paired with one college student. There is this added layer, in my mind, of not wanting to waste anyone’s time. They decided to help me, so I should really use that help, right? So that pressure is what finally got me on the right track. After school, I go to the study group for two hours and work through various equations that gave me trouble.
Once I’m seated for the test, the reading and writing go by easily. Then, once I get to the math portion, I find that I can answer questions faster and answer more of them. I know my score might not be perfect, but I know it will reflect the effort I put in. I’m really looking forward to opening my scores when they return.
WRITTEN BY: Kris Sanders, Empowerteen Creative Writer Intern
Want to discuss procrastination and stress with your peers in a safe, nonjudgemental and supportive environment?
Join us at the Empowerteen Evening Classes or Summer Retreats where we explore dealing with stress, coping skills, and what you can do to overcome these types of challenges together.
Click Here to sign up for upcoming classes, retreats and events.