Dealing with stress always felt like a cup filled to the brim with water. If more is added, it’ll overflow. Until recently, I couldn’t identify what I was experiencing. I didn’t stop to consider why I got unusually anxious, overwhelmed, and exhausted for days or weeks at a time. In my senior year of high school, especially near my graduation, I dealt with periods of stress that were more intense and frequent than ever before. Applying to universities, completing my senior project, working, and getting my driver’s license were things I did on top of my regular obligations. It was a busy time, and I often felt anxious, inadequate, and irritable. Of course, I also felt a lot of positive emotions at the time. I was excited to reach a new milestone, for prom, and all the little things I did that brought me joy along the way. It was a rollercoaster, and in hindsight, I know I could have had an even better experience if I had eased my distress.
That was about two years ago, and while I won’t say I’ve cracked the code for dealing with distress or stressful situations, I have greatly improved! The first thing that changed was my mindset. I started to be more mindful of my thoughts and feelings. That meant taking a moment to stop and process my emotions. It seems like such a silly thing to forget to do, but it’s easy to react instead of act when it comes to daily life.
That was the most difficult part; Once I got that, the next steps came easily. I acknowledge how I’m feeling, and from there I decide what to do next. I usually start with affirmations, which help cool intense emotions and help me think rationally about the cause of my stress. I remind myself that these feelings won’t last forever, that I’m doing the best I can, and that it’s okay to feel the way I’m feeling at this moment.
Something else I do is make time to relax. I try to carve out time to intentionally decompress or lift my mood. What I do depends on my overall schedule at the time. When I’m busier, it’s something small like reading or drawing. When I’m less busy, it’s something like hanging out with friends or going somewhere fun.
Another thing I like doing is rewarding myself for trying hard. Usually, that just involves having a sweet treat of some kind, or maybe buying something I’ve been wanting.
I’ve also relied on people close to me for support, and usually they’re able to ease my worries or, at the very least, give a good listening ear.
The most important realization of all, that led me to be able to manage my distress as well as I am, was that I don’t have to continuously be weighed down by negative feelings. I may not be able to control the things around me, but I can control my own actions and manage my own emotions. Many things are out of my control that will cause worry, and that’s life. Keeping your well-being in mind is more important than external happenings. And that progress isn’t linear. Sometimes I can manage distress, and sometimes I can’t, but continuous effort is what counts.
WRITTEN BY: Kris Sanders, Empowerteen Student Intern